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My Big Kiwi Day Out, Part 1: One Map To Rule Them All
Last month I traveled to Wellington to speak at the Webstock Mini conference and to volunteer behind-the-scenes at the FullCodePress international website-in-a-day event. Between the conference and the geek-a-thon I had a day to myself. Rather than visit museums and city sites, I wanted to get out to see some of the countryside.
This is my story of how I got lost in the jungle, and survived. Just.
This tale was first published in Web Style Magazine, a great new read for web professionals of all walks of life. Check it out.
Going Off The Grid
I had a full day between my speaking engagement and the FullCodePress event kicking off, and I intended to make the most of it. It was my first time visiting New Zealand – rather than spend it in museums or tourist attractions, I was determined to get out of the city.
You see, before I actually set foot in the place, the words “New Zealand” conjured up two images for me (in the following order):
- sheep, and
- the breathtaking countryside of Middle Earth
As you can imagine, my trip would have felt incomplete if I had returned home without seeing a good amount of either of these things. Some hasty web-based research revealed a sleepy coastal town by the name of Paraparaumu (_Para-pa-raow-moo_) on the Kapiti coast – an hour’s train ride from Wellington. Given my hotel was a short walk from the train station and a ticket cost only NZ $10, it all seemed too serendipitous. And if I caught the 5pm back to Wellington, I would even have enough time to meet up with the Aussie FullCodePress team for dinner.
What could possibly go wrong?
Chugga-chugga-choo-choo
Train travel will always be the most romantic form of travel – except perhaps rickshaw, but the only time I’ve tried that was when I was in Austin Texas for the SXSW conference one year. I was, well, drunk off my ass, and my caring colleagues kindly paid for a rickshaw to take my sorry self back to our hotel before I fell asleep in the corner of the bar. Actually, I might have fallen asleep in the bar first, which is probably why they called the rickshaw. But I digress. Damn Yahoo! and their bar tab.
Anyway … after the rickshaw, train travel is definitely up there for me. I know there are hardcore train boffins out there who can rattle off the names of every steam engine built in the last 500 years. Trust me, I’m not one of them. But I do love the speed at which long distance trains chug along – always constant, but never too hurried that you can’t appreciate the scenery outside.
And plenty of scenery there was – the railway to Paraparaumu hugs coastal cliffs and tunnels through ominous mountains. The view out the window was nothing short of stunning, and I sat glued to my window as every twist and turn revealed more lush forest, grassy meadows, and – yes – plenty of sheep.
Halfway there, it started to rain. It should have been a sign, but I shrugged it off. I’m an optimist and figured it would probably stop soon. Plus, I had my raincoat. I was in New Zealand, and it was choice, bro.
Where We’re Going, We Don’t Need Trails
The next warning sign to which I should have paid attention was the fact that the Paraparaumu information centre was closed. It had been open the day before (they were moving premises) and would be reopening the day after. But on the day I needed them their door was shut tight. There were a few brochures outside, but none of them said anything about hiking trails.
I thumbed through the maps at a local newsagency, but no luck. Determined, I asked the attendant at the train station, an elderly gentleman with a trusting face, if he knew of any hiking trails in the area. He apologised, and suggested I take a stroll along the water’s edge. “My wife and I take that walk every weekend.”
I was looking for something a little more challenging than an old timer’s regular route. Luckily, a softly spoken woman in her thirties at the station overheard our conversation, and piped up:
“There’s a hiking trail up in the Nikau Forest. It’s a bit of a walk.”
I volunteered quickly that I enjoyed walking, and pressed her for more details. She drew helpfully on my tourist map, showing roughly where the trail began. It wasn’t the clearest of maps, but it was enough for me. I had plenty of time, plenty of energy, and now I had a vague plan for where my conquering of Middle Earth would begin. I thanked both of my substitute guides, bought a packet of chips, chocolate, and some bottled water, and began my trek.
Oh. Did I mention that the rain was really starting to come down at this stage? I didn’t care. I was an explorer!
Always Cross At The Lights
The next warning bell that I chose to ignore came as I was approaching the edge of town. There weren’t any obvious pedestrian crossings, and I needed to cross the road. I waited for a break in traffic, looked both ways like a good Boy Scout, and legged it.
Around the corner, and moving with considerable momentum, appeared an old truck, rattling along the highway towards me. I picked up the pace, forgetting that the large amounts of rain had made the road kind of slippery. Oh, and the road was on quite an incline – a heady combination.
I was in no danger of being collected by the truck, but I’m sure the driver had a chuckle to himself as he thundered past. Had I been smack bang in the middle of a game of baseball, making a dash for home base, then the two-metre slide that I performed on my backside would have made me a hometown hero.
However I wasn’t playing baseball. I was just crossing the damn road. And my home base wasn’t constructed of soft, made-for-sliding dirt. It was hard bitumen. And it hurt. I still have a bruise and grazing down the side of my leg, four weeks later.
However, always the optimist, I was undeterred. You see, I really just wanted to get to the top of a whopping great hill and gaze out at the view beyond.
I grit my teeth, blocked out the pain that was beginning to creep up the side of my leg, and pressed onwards. Lush, green mountains loomed in the distance. I was determined to climb one of them.
Stay tuned for Part 2: Not In The Shire Anymore
Tags: jungle, new+zealand, travelMy Big Kiwi Day Out: A Tale of Hilarity, Profanity & Stupidity
Last month I traveled to Wellington to speak at the Webstock Mini conference and to volunteer behind-the-scenes at the FullCodePress international website-in-a-day competition.
There was a day between the conference and the 24-hour geek-a-thon, which the Aussie team spent preparing for their competition (one that they would go on to win). But I had no obligations at all, and being my first time to New Zealand, I decided to make the most of it. Rather than visit museums and tourist attractions, I really wanted to get out to see some of the countryside, and possibly do some hiking.
I was to get more than I bargained for.
This is my story of how I entered a rainforest on the Kapiti Coast of New Zealand, and nearly didn’t make it out again. It contains moments of jubilation, wonder, confusion, despair, pain, fear, exhaustion, and humility. Does it sound like I’m exaggerating? OK, maybe I’m prone to it. But if it means that the story is all the better, then so be it, I say!
It’s quite a long tale, so I’ve broken it up into several posts. I can’t tell you exactly how many yet, as I haven’t finished writing them all. I might even drag it out over a few weeks, coz I’m a busy guy, you know? But let’s take things one step at a time, shall we? Jeepers.
(If you’re interested in reading this slightly drawn-out and self-indulgent tale of getting lost (and found) — even if only to learn what not to do when you go hiking on your own in a foreign country — then consider following me on Twitter or subscribing to the feed for this blog.)
What? Webstock in Windy Wellington? Wow!
OK, so it’s not the full-blown Webstock conference, but a mini version (and adding “mini” to the title of this post would have blown my alliteration right out the window.)
Webstock Mini will run from 6pm to 9pm on the evening of Thursday, June 17th in Wellington, New Zealand. Yours truly is one of the speakers.
The event is sold out, I’m afraid. So if you missed out on a ticket, you’re just going to have to come back to this site every day to find out about my next speaking engagement. Blink and you’ll miss it! Seriously—two presentations in two countries in two weeks, people! At this rate I’ll be hosting multiple panels across multiple continents before the month is out!
Erm, maybe not.
But oh, hey—there’s a drinks tab at Webstock Mini. It’s going to be a rockin’ night and I’m looking forward to it. Plus it’s my first time to NZ, in town to help out with the third FullCodePress competition on the weekend following. Many thanks to the Webstock team for asking me to present (don’t worry—there are a stack of other great speakers, so even if I bomb then there are plenty of reasons why the punters are going to love it).
Seeing as the event is called Webstock Mini, I’m going to give a mini version of the talk I gave at Remix in Melbourne last week. I’ve called it Here’s one thing you probably don’t know about Google Analytics. It’s the best bits of my 45 minute version, condensed into 5 minutes.
If you’re at the event, and read my blog, be sure to come up and say hello!
Tags: fullcodepress, public-speaking, webstock
Matthew Magain works as the manager for online media at 
